Former DOGE Staffer Nicknamed ‘Massive Balls’ Bloodied in D.C. Assault

A younger former DOGE staffer bloodied in a Washington, D.C. assault over the weekend has been recognized as Edward “Massive Balls” Coristine … as Donald Trump threatens to federalize the nation’s capital.

Police say the ex-DOGE worker was assaulted by a gaggle of unruly teenagers at roughly 3 AM Sunday in a D.C. neighborhood, based on a report obtained by TMZ.

Police report a gaggle of 10 juveniles approached the sufferer and made a remark about taking his automotive early Sunday. He reportedly received his vital different into the automotive and turned to the minors to take care of them … which is after they started their brutal assault.

Legislation enforcement officers notice the juveniles scattered after they arrived on scene … however a 15-year-old juvenile male and a 15-year-old juvenile feminine, of Hyattsville, Maryland, had been arrested and charged with Unarmed Carjacking.

A black iPhone 16 valued at $1,000 was additionally reported stolen throughout, based on the report.

President Trump was outraged by the incident, declaring in a press briefing and on his Fact Social platform Tuesday that he could think about federalizing D.C. if town does not shortly “get its act collectively.”

He additionally shared a photograph of Coristine shirtless and lined in blood on the bottom following the assault.

He demanded D.C. change its legal guidelines so teenagers committing such violent crimes might be prosecuted as adults, beginning at age 14.

Coristine beforehand revealed to Fox News he obtained his “Massive Balls” nickname from his LinkedIn person identify.

Coristine at present works for the Social Safety Administration, based on Politico. He was a part of Elon Musk‘s DOGE (Division of Authorities Effectivity) workforce that slashed federal funding within the first few months of this administration.